Britain's Prime Minister Tony Blair meets US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice for bi-lateral talks at the Supporting the Palestinian Authority (AFP/Pool/John D. McHugh)
1. "Why do you keep calling me 'Tootie' and giggling? Are you stoned?"
2. "Springer says his ratings are tanking, and when we get back from the break, instead of talking about the Middle East, he wants Condi to yell, 'You ain't my baby's daddy!' and throw a chair."
3. Blair and Rice prepare to kick Chirac and Albright's asses on Celebrity Password.
4. "Sorry, Tony, that's the very same chair Arafat's bladder finally gave out in. The UN Budgeted $30K for re-upholstering it, but the money just kind of vanished."
5. "So then I grab Chirac by the cajoles and say 'Why would you dare to f*ck with the f*ckin' Scretary of State of the last f*ckin' Superpower? What's my name, Bitch?' So, shall we talk about Syria now?"
6. "What? So you can mock my genitalia? No thank you, Madame Secretary, I will be keeping my legs crossed."
7. "... the very next week, Cokie was fired, and Cheney was never invited back on This Week again." Condi keeps Blair entertained with war stories while George Stephanopoulus berates his make-up artist for once again making him look like a 'cheap whore.'
8. "Nah, these aren't 'La-Z-Boys,' in honor of our European (snort) allies, these chairs are 'Wuss-E-Boys.'"
9. "Are you aware, Madame Secretary, that two cows were killed for those boots you were wearing?" "Yes, but I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now, I'll have to kill you."
10. "No, you may not call me 'Octopussy.'"