Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Who Are You Trying to Kid, Chuck?

Britain's Prince Charles and his longtime companion Camilla Parker Bowles, seen here in 2002, are to marry.(AFP/Pool/File/David Cheskin)

1. "She does have huge tracts of open land."

2. "By the way, love, if anything should happen to me after we're married, stay away from John Kerry."

3. "By the way, I'll be meeting my droogs at the milk bar later on for a night of ultraviolence. Don't wait up." "Yes, Camilla."

4. "Marriage to Camilla has made me the happiest inbred, dim-witted, tax-parasite outside of Saudi Arabia. When she agreed to wed me, I was so overjoyed, I very nearly had a facial expression."

5. "Yo! Kobe! Over here! I'm open man!"

6. Charles makes a long distance guesstimate of the size of Hillary's ass.

7. "'He's got the who-o-le world (clap) in his hands, he's got the whole wide world...' Come on, sing along, are you people uptight or something?"

8. "And then Homer says, 'Why you little...' and grips Bart's throat like so. It is the funniest damned thing I've ever seen."

9. "And then, after prying the horse's buttocks apart, she plunges right in, right on up to the elbow. And I knew this woman would love me in a way Diana never could."

10. "Honeymoon in Paris? I should think not. The traffic is horrendous there... especially if it's late at night and your brakes have been sabotaged and your driver's cocktail was drugged... a propos of nothing."


lawhawk said...

Ah, the Caroba bar. The droogs would be proud indeed, but I think Charles may be out of his league for a bit of the old 'in-out, in-out,' don't ya think?

Cybrludite said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Cybrludite said...

Prince Charles is trying to convince Camilla that all rulers have twelve inches...