Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Bag Ladies

Veiled Jordanian women surf the web at an internet cafe. A budding romance between a Jordanian man and woman turned into an ugly public divorce when the couple found out that they were in fact man and wife, state media reported.(AFP/File/Jamal Nasrallah)




1. IBM announced today that it was outsourcing another 14,000 jobs to the Jawa people of the planet 'Tatooine.'

2. Simple Life V: Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie are sold off to a Saudi oil tick. Ratings skyrocket with the promise of daily honor-whippings.

3. "I think the caption is meant to imply that Condaleezza Rice is making an unflattering comment about Senator Kerry's genitals." "Someone's obsessed."

4. "Dear Fox Network, We object to the portrayal of Muslims as terrorists in your series '24.' This is an inaccurate stereotype. If you do not cease at once, we will car bomb your studios and behead Kiefer Sutherland. Sincerely..."

5. "Oh, dear. I have just been reviewing the Imam's bookmarks and I think sending him camping with the young boys choir may have been a HUGE mistake."

6. "well, that's it... we have examined every image on Cliff Yablonski's Web Site and have yet to find anything as hideous as Hanan Ashrawi.

7. "Okay, now Google 'Scott Baio' 'Wesley Snipes' 'naked' and 'low-hangers.'"

8. "HAIL OVERLORD GRORX. The Earthlings suspect nothing. Our disguises have enabled us to blend perfectly into human society and we have both secured employment as human rights observers with their United Nations."

9. "I wish those cheap bastards would turn up the heat in this place."

10. Fatima and Sofi had moved half the oil tick's fortune to a bank in Switzerland and were already halfway to Monaco. Boy, won't the shiekh be surprised when he unwraps the burqa's and finds two heavily sedated goats wrapped in duct tape? Surprised, but not necessarily disappointed.

11*. "Morning, 'kelly.'" "Morning, 'Gordon.'"

* A bonus caption that nobody who doesn't frequent LGF is going to get.

9 comments:

AM42 said...

Holy Crap!
(I'll never be able to say that as good as Frank Barone of "Raymond")

You really outdid yourself on this one, in a true coffee out the nose way. Not a single throw away here.

Anonymous said...

I would never use an assine winblows computer. so take a leap.

kelly

Chip said...

This set of captions rocks, and not like a washed-up 1980's hair band either. LOL.

--Beagle

Right Wing Nut Job said...

I'm still wondering if the keyboards are roman alphabet.

AM42 said...

Two men are sitting across the room, sipping grande decaf lattes...

One turns to his friend, points and says "Hey Abullah, check out those two hotties at the computers over there!"

Passionate Conservative said...

11*. "Morning, 'kelly.'" "Morning, 'Gordon.'"

Oh, no! Do not invoke the evil nodroG! He comes to your blog only to spread his vile evil spew!

Monkey said...

Just found your blog accidently - this is some good stuff - funny!!!
Great job!!

Anonymous said...

[typing] ... and this is a pic of me and my sister... I'm the one on the left.

Bob with one O said...

LOL

Gordo, kelly, who knew?