Senators Hillary Rodham DeGeneres (PMS-New York) and John McCain (D-Media)
1. Where the HELL is PELOSI with our BOTOX?
2. We were up all night doing tequila slammers with Ted Kennedy. What's your excuse?
3. "You know Hill, I just couldn't get out of bed if I didn't see your sweet ass every morning."
4. McCain rolled over in bed and thought, "Oh, God... what did I drink, smoke, snort, and/or inject last night to end up with that?"
5. "Hey, as long as we can haul our asses to the senate, we do NOT have a drinking problem!"
6. "So, John, do you ever feel any resentment that while you were in the Hanoi Hilton getting bamboo shoved under your fingernails, my husband and I were getting stoned, engaging in anonymous sex with multiple partners in a consequence-free environment, and protesting to end the war and make your entire experience meaningless and futile? John?... John?"
7. "Did somebody open the Ark of the Convenant?"
8. "Every night, same old story... I promise myself that this time, I'm only going to cruise the chat rooms a few minutes before bed... next thing I know, it's morning."
9. "Hey, we were up all night trying to talk Barbara Boxer down from the roof of the Capitol, where she was howling at the moon wearing and nothing but aluminum foil. What's your excuse?"
10. "We made the mistake of looking directly at Senator Mikulski."
Update Villainous Company posts some even better captions and calls me "snarky."