Friday, January 07, 2005

Suspected Captioner Plants Captions Under Photo of Suspected Terrorist

A suspected insurgent asks residents for mercy after they caught him planting explosives under civilian vehicles, at a busy area in Baghdad, January 3, 2005. (Reuters, natch. Who else considers a man planting explosives only a "suspected" insurgent.)

1. "You don't understand. My wives found a fifty gallon drum of lubricant in my closet, and now I must pretend to change the oil daily."

2. GWM, 45, swimmers build, into humiliation, public scenes, foot fetishes, and big-ass Farah slacks.

3. First Marine: Damn! I almost ran over that insurgent. Second Marine: That's okay, I got him with the car door.

4. In America, a crappy old car is known as a "bomber." The Iraqis are somewhat more literal.

5. "That's okay Mr. Broderick. You just winged me."

6. "Oh, sorry, sir... we thought you were Senator Kennedy. You can go back to sleep now."

7. Have you been injured while attempting to sabotage a vehicle? Call the law firm of Edwards and Fazio. You could be entitled to huge damages.

8. The last thing Ahmed remembered was a UN Peacekeeper shouting "Put Out or Get Out."

9. "Okayfine, so it wasn't just a speedbump we hit. I owe you a Coke."

10. Brando's scene in Fight Club was deleted for reasons that should be obvious.

1 comment:

AM42 said...