Police officers fire streams of pepper spray into a crowd of protesters after demonstrators threw objects over the fence, at President Bush's inaugural parade Photo by Jim Bourg/Reuters
1. "Here ya go, hippies. Taste this freakin' rainbow!"*
2. Common sense would suggest it was a dumb idea to yell "F*** the pigs!" when they have pepper spray and you don't have gas masks.
3. "Oh,no... liquid... run, brothers and sisters, before any foul hippie stench is washed from our persons!"
4. Police Chief Cartman's dream finally came true. "Respect my f***in' authoritay!"
5. The sound of whining, high-pitched voices squealing "No fair! No fair!" secretly delighted the police officers.
6. "It's only funny until some stupid hippie claws out his own eyes to escape the burning pepper spray, then it's freakin' hilarious!"
7. The hippies started it by throwing shit over the barricades... and for once, I don't use that word euphemistically.
8. It's not actually pepper spray, it's RAID. Hippies attract a lot of flies, and they were bothering the horses.
9. We've secretly replaced the pepper spray they usually use with concentrated hydrochloric acid. Let's see if anyone notices.
10. Man, they're bosses are going to be pissed that they missed work and got arrested... oh, wait, what was I thinking?
* Props, once again, to CJ.