Tuesday, January 25, 2005
Condi and the Angry Inch
1. "I'm crushing your head, I'm crushing your head, Senator Biden, I am crushing your head."
2. "Senator Kerry, let me explain to you the real root cause of Islamic terrorism..."
3. Damn! Where the hell did Mr. Hat take off to this time?
4. "O.K.... let's pretend my left hand is a bad, bad terrorist..." Try as she could, Condi just couldn't simplify enough for Barbara Boxer's comprehension.
5. Moments later, Ms. Rice regained control of the Fist of Death, Senator Kerry crawled out from under his desk, and the hearings continued.
6. "Rumsfeld taught me this one, it's called, the 'Falcon's Claw,' and you can render an opponent blind or permanently impotent, depending on your aim."
7. "Confirm me or the Invisible Midget Fairy dies!!"
8. Pushed to the brink, Condi Rice questions Senator Obama's African-American credentials.
9. As Senator Boxer flailed blindly in her last few seconds of life, Condi calmly wiped off the bloody gavel. "That'll teach her for wearing white shoes after Labor Day."
10. CONDI HULK!! SMASH! KILL!