Monday, January 31, 2005

100% pure nightmare fuel

1. "Oh... and for God's sake, if you need a potty break, do not say 'I need to go to the little boys' room.'"

2. "Oddjob, take Mr. Bond to the llama pen." "Yes, Boyfinger."

3. Hey, if your best friend was a feces-throwing chimp named 'Bubbles,' you'd want an umbrella at all times, too.

4. The Peterson's new lawn jockey creeps me out.

5. Somewhere, an emaciated French clown is missing a suit.

6. And the moral of this picture is, never fall asleep with your nose on a derm abrasion wheel.

7. So, apparently, Boyfinger asked his plastic surgeon for Kirstie Alley's hair, Keri Strug's body, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial's eyes, and GI Cody's genitalia.

8. "What do you expect me to do, Boyfinger? Talk?" "No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to take a seven figure settlement to keep your mouth shut, like the others."

9. Among the incriminating evidence, a stack of letter to Highlights Forum.

10. His surgeon warned Boyfinger that his face was subject to spontaneous combustion if it were ever exposed to direct sunlight.


Jehane said...

I almost sent this picture to you, but I see you are on top of it.

I can't even type, I'm laughing so hard...

Jehane said...

By the way, what in the name of God is up with that belt, anyway???

V the K said...

The belt... well, there arent a lot of guys who can pull off wearing a charm bracelet around their waist, but Boyfinger is one of them.

Jehane said...

The really sad thing is that I once owned a belt like that.

Of course, it was during the Reagan administration.

Sharon said...

Cassandra: "The really sad thing is that I once owned a belt like that ... Of course, it was during the Reagan administration."

Don't forget the other important qualifier, Casandra: you're a Woman. He's just a wannabe.

V the K: What I can't stnad is that stupid-ass strut as he walked into the courthouse. What a poseur!

Jehane said...

To my credit, however, I never owned a white suit like that...

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