Thursday, December 16, 2004

Toys Against Tots

Staff Sgt. Leonardo Cruz unloads toys for the Marine Corps’ ‘Toys for Tots’ program from an Air Force Pave Hawk helicopter at Nellis Air Force Base, Nev., near Las Vegas, 12/13/2004. Craig L. Moran / AP photo-Air Force Times

1. Apparently the problems with getting armored vehicles to the troops are even worse than we thought.

2. The Buckley's "Pave Hawk" drove their Hummer-driving yuppie neighbors into fits of jealousy, and parking at Toys 'R' Us was never a problem.

3. "Well, you knew we were airborne... you kids should have held on tighter."

4. Man, they are really coddling those guys at Abu Ghraib.

5. Michael Jackson's elite payoff squad comes through with more "hush money."

6. If Senator Clinton had had Sprint PCS, the Marines would have heard her clearly say, "I need you to drop off a couple of dykes at my place in the Hamptons."

7. "All right, now all I got to do is walk a tightrope between two hovering helicopters while carrying a pair of tricycles... damn these Marine initiations are a bitch."

8. Wow! Some lucky kid is going to love the "Flemish Painter Action Figure" I see protruding from the box.

9. Full combat gear really is the only way to confront a mob of toy-crazed pre-schoolers.

10. If Bill Clinton had had Sprint PCS, the Marines would have heard him clearly request a pair of trisexuals be dropped off at his place in the Hamptons.

1 comment:

Ogre said...

"Well, we said we needed more 'wheeled vehicles.' Darn literal idiots in supply..."