Friday, December 17, 2004

They had me going until the Fortran bit

Scientists from RAND Corporation have created this model to illustrate how a "home computer" could look in the year 2004. With teletype interface and the Fortran language, the computer will be easy to use,

This was emailed to me about a week ago. I thought it smelled funny and Snopes confirms it's a hoax, but that doesn't mean we can't pretend it's real, right?

1. "And it will go 14 hectares on a flagon of horse manure."

2. The RAND scientists added a steering wheel when someone commented that computers of the future might be used to play "Simu-Crime" games in which Negroes stole cars and shot each other.

3. "Think this baby can whip me up a whore like those kids in Weird Science did?"

4. In 1955, Professor Schonnbrunn was sentenced to eight years on morals charges for theorizing that his "Think-U-Tron" could permit "pictures of naked ladies to be displayed in the privacy of their own home."

5. First clue that it was a fake 50's photograph? No "Whites Only" sign on the gigantic keyboard.

6. What Mac Users envision whenever anyone tries to argue the superiority of DOS.

7. "I use it to cruise chat-rooms and pretend I'm a 23-year-old hottie under the name BustyLass36DD."

8. When your ISP gives you a warning not to give personal information to any unknown third parties, they mean this guy.

9. "Will men be taking orders from machines in 2004? Only if you count on-line dominatrixes."

10. "The Temporal-Teletype-Machine seems to be printing out a message from the future. It's... BUY... V.I.@.G.R.@... and ... C.I.@.L.I.S... at ... 50%... DISCOUNT."


Anonymous said...

Hey, you know how you posted on LGF this:
#169 Furious J 9/22/2004 05:31AM PST

I'm probably not the first to mention this, and it is a repost from the second thread (and breaking news is to be noted in the top thread, so excuse the double post), but apparently, Ted Rall has some fans in Columbus Ohio. US Soldier Attacked at Concert

Well, here's the 'rest of the story' (hint, nothing to do with Ted Rall, violent moonbats etc etc etc...)

SOTG said...

Was this the machine Dan Rather typed up those realistic memos on?