Thursday, December 16, 2004
Terrorists in Blue
1. (singing) "I-I-I-I-I-I-I just gotta be me... just gotta be me..."
2. "We are not only a fabulous army, we are also part of Janet Jackson's Rhythm Nation."
3. "Who's the tall guy in back who looks like Lurch and why does he keep asking if we'll be committing atrocities in a manner reminiscent of Jenjis Khan?"
4. Gay Pride Parades lost some of their pizzazz when Maoists finally consolidated their control of the San Francisco City Council.
5. "Sorry, my... ahem... "room-mate" ... put bleach in the load with my uniform."
6. Asked why Hamas had added "Free Scott Peterson" to its list of demands, Abbas cited "solidarity with all political prisoners," but remarked off the record that Peterson was also "one hot hunk of California manhood."
7. Ali was out-of-touch with slang expressions that were trendy in 1997 and after a misunderstanding with one of his subordinates spent the rest of the day talking to his hand.
8. Cliff Clavin never dealt well with Cheers cancellation and eventually joined a militant wing of the Postal Service.
9. I don't know why Arafat called his elite forces the "Pearl Necklace" boys. I don't see any pearl necklaces.
10. Ali continues to insist that he is, in fact, "the real Slim Shady."