Nude members of Berlin's ice swimming club 'Berliner Seehunde' (Berlin seals) take a dip in the cold water of the Oranke lake, in Berlin December 25, 2004. Photo by Fabrizio Bensch/Reuters
1. "Now that the bubbles have stopped, does anyone else want to compare me to 'Free Willy?'"
2. -- Insert 'shallow end of gene pool comment' here. --
3. "Klaus, if I knew mein 'man-boobies' would drive you into such a frenzy, I would have worn a two-piece."
4. "Klaus, if you don't want the puppies, maybe you should just get the dog fixed."
5. An interpretive-dance version of 'The Odyssey' using naked Germans in Santa Hats for Scylla and Charybdis: Your NEA tax dollars at work.
6. The first Shriners emerge from the primodial ooze.
7. "It wasn't me."
8. "Ach! Ein Baby Ruth! Vait a minute, das ist nicht ein Baby Ruth."
9. "Next Christmas, I get to be Kate Winslet and you have to be Leonardo di Caprio, OK Hans?"
10. "As demonstrations of strength and virility go, this is okay, but invading Poland would be better."