Marine Lance Cpl. Adam Suave of Savage, Minn., dressed up as Santa Claus, and Lance Cpl. Brian Marren of Chicago dressed up as Rudolf, on Christmas day at Forward Operating Base Snake Pit in Ramadi, Iraq. Santa is carrying a pump action shotgun and Rudolf is carrying a Squad Automatic Weapon. Both Marines are with Echo Company, 2nd Battalion, 5th Marine Regiment. - L.G. Francis / Military Times staff - Air Force Times
1. "Aw, come on, all I did was ask Rumsfeld what kind of underwear he wore."
2. "Gentlemen, I ask you one last time, is this really the best way to settle the 'Kirk versus Picard' argument?"
3. "Um, Adam, it turns out the clerk was dyslexic, and your paperwork should have read 'SATAN worshipper.'"
4. This year, Santa decided to get Medieval on those naughty kids' asses.
5. "Um, Brian, when I said I was up for some 'White Tail,' that's not what I had in mind."
6. Let's see, deer hunting with a pump action shotgun and an automatic rifle. In Michigan, we consider that underkill.
7. "Yo, Santa, I'll give you $100 for the list of bad girls."
8. "Down in the workshop all the elves were makin' toys/For the good Gentile girls and the good Gentile boys/When the boss busted in, nearly scared 'em half to death/Had a rifle in his hands and cheap whiskey on his breath/From his beard to his boots he was covered with ammo/Like a big fat drunk disgruntled Yuletide Rambo
And he smiled as he said with a twinkle in his eye/"Merry Christmas to all - now you're all gonna die!" - Weird Al Yankovic, "The Night Santa Went Crazy"
9. After their Christmas Party on Tatooine was broken up by a bunch of rowdy, drunken Jedi, the Marines calmly went forth and showed why shotguns and assault rifles beat light sabers and wussy-ass mind tricks every time.
10. "We'll teach that Grinch bastard to steal the Whos' Christmas."