Monday, November 29, 2004
Sorry Losers, Part XIV or Something
1. "Et Tu, Poppinfresh?"
2. "Sorry Bruce, the trick isn't into the horny sailor fantasy. Try the Mean Nurse outfit instead."
3. "I did MY part..." His part being third chorus boy in the San Francisco Gay Chorus rendition of HMS Pinafore.
4. "Bruce, I am so turned on. Now, to get me really hot, start tap-dancing and singing 'On the Good Ship Lollipop'..."
5. The cop, the construction worker, the leather man, and the Indian are also very, very sorry.
6. No one realized the depth of Bruce's obsession with the character of Mel Sharples from the 70's-era sitcom "Alice" until the police began recovering the bodies of skinny waitresses in pink outfits from his crawl-space. At his arraignment, he pleaded "Kiss my grits."
7. He's been bitter ever since Olive Oyl shaved her head and joined a 'Womyn's Poetry Collective.
8. So, the photographer places a bright lamp behind his subject. I guess that chapter of Photography for Dummies was a little over his head.
9. I always suspected the Sta-Puf Marshmallow Man was a Democrat.
10. "Um... 'wish in one hand and crap in the other' is just an expression, you sick pig."