Wednesday, November 17, 2004
Sorry Losers Part VIII
1. Oh, no! General Zod has escaped from the Phantom Zone... and shops at Adidas!
2. General Zod denies beating up Superman, Ben Affleck apologizes for Gigli, and Tony Shalhoub affectionately pats Affleck's butt.
3. Privately, General Zod was relieved about Kerry losing. As long as gay marriage remained illegal, he would not be force to choose between Ben's fabulous glutes and Tony's fabulous singing voice.
4. And by "Fight On," they mean lots of man-on-man action.
5. While General Zod keeps Ben Affleck distracted with a shiny object, Tony Shalhoub lifts his wallet.
7. "Hey, Tony and Zod, which word better describes my ass ... 'voracious' or 'insatiable'?"
8. Sorry Loser mad-libs: "We didn't Do anything to Your Goat. We meant to Do It after We tried giving each other malt liquor enemas but we got So Damn drunk. Sorry, but if it makes it up to you we will fight on Thursday night, lubed up with Wesson oil and wearing nothing but speedos and dorky "Ohio Idiot" hats.
9. "When shall we three meet again In thunder, lightning, or in rain?"
10. The Blue Man Group's unsuccessful rip-off act, the Blue State Dorks