Friday, November 12, 2004

He's Dead. I'm Glad.

A Palestinian boy holds a poster of Palestinian President Yasser Arafat during the last Friday prayer of Ramadan in the West Bank city of Hebron November 12, 2004. (Nayef Hashlamoun/Reuters)

1. Hm, young boy surrounded by a bunch of bent over men... this has got to be Arafat's funeral.

2. The Pavlovian Reflex among all men who came of age under Arafat is to bend over and whimper expectantly at the mere sight of his image.

3. Arafat's will was very explicit. Every grown man in Palestine was to fart on his portrait while a young boy made kissy noises.

4. The winner of Arafat's "Best Kisser" contest shows off his souvernir plaque and kaffiyeh.

5. Scene from on of Arafat's favorite movies, Field of Reams. Tag-line, "If you bend over, he will come."

6. "Hey, I may only be nine years old, but even I know that 'Duck and Cover' isn't going to do sh*t when they drop the MOAB on us."

7. "... now, Arafat says, lick the dirt. Good, now bark like a dog. Ha! I didn't say Arafat says, you f*ckin' retards."

8. "Allah says you are very bad and need a spanking. (SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!). 20 dinars. Thank you. Next Customer. Allah says you are very bad and need a spanking...."

9. What's with the dudes in orange? Did the Fulton County jail send a delegation or something?

10. "Hey, Andrew Sullivan! Cut that out! Massaging your buttocks in such a manner is highly disrepectful to Allah."


Anonymous said...

You are a horrible man. Bookmarked.

Anonymous said...

Fulton County, Georgia? No, the only buggery going on in Georgia jails is in juvie!