Monday, November 15, 2004

Blairvis and Bushhead

"US President George W. Bush (L) and British Prime Minister Tony Blair walk to the East Room of the White House for a joint press conference 12 November 2004 (Photo credit BRENDAN SMIALOWSKI/AFP/Getty Images)

1. "Snogging ... well, it's a bit of slang, isn't it? Picture what Mr. Cheney was doing to Cokie Roberts when we walked in on them and you'll have the idea."

2. "This place has changed a lot since I visited during the Clinton Administration. That used to be George Stephanopoulus's office. I see someone has taken down the Mapplethorpe prints."

3. "The way it works is, you put in $2000, and then you get ten friends to join in and when you get to the top of the list, you get $20,000. You can't lose!"

4. "If you get a question from Helen Thomas, I'll give you five bucks to call her a 'demented fossil.'"

5. "So, Tony, what do you think of our shag carpeting? Get it? Shag carpeting? Come on, lighten up, baby. This is my scene, and it freaks me out! I thought all you guys talked like that."

6. "Oh, and if Bob Dole corners you and starts talking about erectile dysfunction, just give me this signal and one of my security detail will pretend you have a phone call."

7. "No, Tony, Laura and I haven't had marital relations since February. Ever since that Democrat fundraiser in New York, every time we try to get busy I picture Whoopi Goldberg's face staring out from her vagina... and who can get it up after that? Ted Danson, maybe, but not this cowboy."

8. "Is it possible that we got so wasted last night that we bought a lifetime supply of pudding and then totally forgot about it?"

9. "Well, now I'm going to have 'Funkytown' stuck in my head the whole bloody day. Thank you so bloody much."

10. "Who's the black private dick that's a sex machine to all the chicks? Bush. Damn Right."

1 comment:

trolldisliker said...

#4 is absolutely hilarious, keep up the good work.