Standing at his desk in the Oval Office, President George W. Bush receives a phone call from Democratic nominee John Kerry in which the Senator conceded defeat in the 2004 presidential election on November 3, 2004.(Eric Draper/The White House via Reuters )
1. "I got a man-date? Damn it, Rove, you know I don't swing that way. My man-date's not with Andrew Sullivan is it?"
2. "Hi Cokie... No, Dick's not here... Um, blue suit, white shirt, blue tie, and yourself? ... Crotchless panties and a garter?... kinda chilly for that, hope you're indoors."
3. "Hold on let me check... is there a Seymour Butts in here? Come on you guys, I wanna Seymour Butts."
4. "Barb, Jenna, I'm re-arranging the cabinet right now, can I call you back? What do you mean you only get one phone call?"
5. "Hello, Oval Office... What's that? ... 'Is the hit on Michael Moore still a go?' ... Uh, you want Cheney, let me transfer you."
6. "Hello, this is George W. Bush and I want four large pizzas with everything delivered to 1600 Pennsylvania... Damn, why do they always hang up."
7. "Hello, Batman? We need your help, caped crusader. The Joker just went Islamic and got himself a dirty nuke."
8. "No, we don't have 'Prince Albert in a Can', but Cheney's got a drifter named Leo tied up in the basement."
9. "I just want to hear some ABBA, lots and lots of ABBA. Don't make me issue an executive order on this!"
10. "Is this the Cocksucker residence? 121 Pussy Way? Zip Code 3212-Fuck You!!!"