Saturday, October 09, 2004

Ten Captions About One Debate

Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry (L) and U.S. President George W. Bush (news - web sites) listen to a question from the audience during the town hall format debate at Washington University in St. Louis Missouri, October 8, 2004
- Yahoo News/ REUTERS/Rick Wilking US ELECTION

1. Finding no takers, John Kerry finally just gives up and pulls his own finger.

2. Bush and Kerry respond to an "undecided voter's" challenge to act out the scene in "Basic Instinct" where Sharon Stone flashes her cooter.

3. "Don't pretend it wasn't you, Kerry... I can smell it from way over here and so can the transvestite in the front row over there."

4. Asked how he would meet the global threat of terrorism, Kerry tries to lead the group in a round of "Kum-by-yah." Bush doesn't know the words.

5. "This president has failed to connect with the concerns of middle class Americans... and I thought you peasants ought to know that... so you can attack him with your pitchforks, and torches, and primitive farming implements."

6. "Come on, Springfieldians, how could you not want a geunine bona fide, electrified, certifed monorail!!"

7. "Let me tell you, Jerry, I feel wronged... I feel hurt and betrayed." Then, Bush threw a chair at his head.

8. "Three Klingon birds-of-prety decloaking off the port bow! Shields up! Hard to starboard." Of all the debate formats, Kobayashi Maru was by far the most annoying.

9. "Wow, check the feed on monitor two. Cheney is really slamming it to Cokie Roberts in the green room."

10. As Kerry continued his attacks, Bush simply retreated to a happy fantasy involving Kerry, five pounds of bacon in his pants, and a pack of starving Rotweilers.


Anonymous said...

Man, I love you. Too funny.

'addison' from LGF

Pete(Detroit) said...

Ummmm, picking nits, but wasn't Koybiashi Maru in ROMULAN space, not Kilngon?