Monday, October 18, 2004

The Iron Dingbat



SANTA MONICA, CA - OCTOBER 15: Senator Hillary Clinton (D-New York) gives a speech at a Democratic Senate fundraising concert featuring The Red Hot Chili Peppers on October 15, 2004 in Santa Monica, California. (Photo by Amanda Edwards/Getty Images)


1. Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D - New York) pokes her imaginary friend "Giant Poppinfresh" after drinking Electric Kool-Aid with Flea.

2. "I tried to warn Martha Stewart to stick to cattle futures, but no-o-o-o-o-o..."

3. "Damn! That house is headed straight for my sister! Look out!

4. "Is that a dagger I see before me/Its handle turned to my hand/Come, let me clutch thee/Or maybe I'll just plug Vince Foster with a .38 instead."

5. "And up there, I think I see the ghosts of Eleanor Roosevelt and Alice B. Toklas ... smiling down on all of us. What's that Eleanor, you want to pull my finger? Oh, yes... YES!!!"

6. "Would someone pull Mrs. Edwards away from the buffet table. Would several someones pull Mrs. Edwards away from the buffet table."

7. The sound man may have thought playing Spinal Tap's "Big Bottom" as an entrance cue for Mrs. Clinton was funny, but two weeks later he was found dead in an alley with a cushion stuffed in his mouth and his "pink torpedo" cut off.

8. "No, I don't have the gag reflex to deep throat this mike, but bring me a large trout and watch me go to town."

9. "So, you think pencil doesn't beat rock? Well, what does index-finger-jammed-through-your-windpipe beat?"

10. "Ich will sie toten!"



1 comment:

Rightwingsparkle said...

#6, I think. Although #7 is a close second.

If you were on the same site I was there was a picture of Kerry at a pulpit at a black church. The one where Jesus is praying in the stained glass behind him and it says '40 yrs of preaching" behind him too. I thought you could work that one pretty good.