Tuesday, October 19, 2004

Attack of the 50 Foot Kerry

Democratic presidential candidate Sen. John Kerry, D-Mass., gestures to the crowd as he speaks at an early vote kickoff rally in Orlando, Fla. Monday, Oct. 18, 2004. (AP Photo/Gerald Herbert)

1. “Cower, puny Earthlings! Run and mule and puke in terror! Bwah hah hah ha ha ha!”

2. The little man who lives in Kerry’s crotch (Nedra Pickler) reaches out his microphone for a comment.

3. The new Democratic poster was based on Michelangelo's "Creation of Adam", with Kerry in the place of Adam, and God airbrushed out by order of the ACLU.

4. Unfortunately, the photographer had forgotten to take the “Ego-filter” off his lens, thus revealing how Kerry really thought of himself relative to mere mortal humans.

5. “Oh, God, he just stepped on Bambi! The horror! The horror!”

6. As his ego grew to gigantic dimensions, Kerry called upon God to pull his finger.

7. Obligatory obscure reference “One of my son-of-a-bitch secret service agents spilled Pepsi on a nuclear reactor, next thing I knew…”

8. “I would be highly grateful if any of you peasants could dislodge this keyboard from my groin.”

9. Japanese Man 1: RUN! IT'S GODZILLA! Japanese Man 2: It looks like Godzilla, but due to international copyright laws - it's not. Japanese Man 1: STILL! WE SHOULD RUN LIKE IT IS GODZILLA!Japanese Man 2: Though it isn't.

10. "Puny Earthlings! Your green energy barrier cannot stop Johnzilla, ha-ha-ha."

1 comment:

Rightwingsparkle said...

#2 and I'm stealing it!