Sunday, February 07, 2016

Won't somebody please think of the children.

1. "Whatever is in your pocket is hitting the back of my head."

2. "Don't cry, little one. Soon your life force will be added to my own, and the pain will be gone."

3. Hocus Pocus II: The Engorgening. 

4. ORA: "Damn, another brat with Dead Zone ability to foresee the outcome of my presidency."

5. Judging from the chick holding her nose in the background, Cankles just let fly with a deadly queef.

Wednesday, February 03, 2016

Trump at the Barricades

1. "Stay behind the cages, you losers! Except for you, Sugar Tits, you can come in front."
2. ORA: "And just to prove my point, I'm now going to shoot five of you in the head at random."
3. At a Trump rally, there is never a shortage of volunteers to pull his finger.
4. Trump's rendition of "I'm a Little Teapot" always swayed the undecided voters."
5. "My first act as president will be to plow Iowa under. Just wipe it. Scrape it off the Earth. You wouldn't want that to happen to New Hampshire, now, would you?"

Tuesday, February 02, 2016

Ass, Grass, or Gas

1. Due to a tight campaign budget, Hillary's interns have to find their own transport to the next primary.

2. "I'm on my way to NY to welcome the Syrian refugees." Bad Idea Jeans launches its new ad campaign.

3. You see these young Bernie Sanders supporters and think, "Where are the Ted Bundy's and Richard Ramirezes to thin the herd?"

Monday, February 01, 2016

Sometimes, I sits and thinks...

1. Two decades later, Beavis had undergone sex reassignment surgery and Butthead was a New York hipster.  Other than that, the show was pretty much the same.

2. Next on Oxygen, Pajama Boy discusses modern comedy with Kathy Griffin.

3. "These new avant-garde, uni-gender bathrooms are so progressive... I mean, except for the lack of sinks and toilet paper."

4. And the award for Best German Mainstream Film at Sundance goes to...

5. How the Iowa caucuses really work.

Sunday, January 31, 2016

OMG WTF 1970's

1. I am almost sure these 1970's PSA's marked the beginning of 'Special Snowflake' culture.

 2. A PSA where a throbbing orb comes into a little girl's bedroom at night to teach her about touching things. In particular, "smooth" and "soft" things.

And she concludes that the best things to touch are... I won't spoil it.

 Was everybody in the 1970's on acid?

Friday, January 29, 2016

Get the Balance Right

1. "Latrina, that ain't no whip cream... that's... oh, never mind."

2. According to the coroner, the sweater dogs tried desperately in their last moments to escape their faux-leather prison.

3. Oh, Dennis Rodman. America has missed you.

4. I'm no mechanic, but I can spot the need for suspension work and a front end alignment.

5. "Yeah, Latrina? Well, there's no way you'd be Bottom Bitch if Big Leroy wasn't totally cross-eyed."

Best of Rodney Dill

Best of Rodney Dill
Oh... You must be Tom Brady's new date."

Best of Whacko
Latrina placed first, second, and fourth in the annual pectoral flexing contest.

Best of jimmy
When arching your eyebrow at an opponent just isn't sufficient...

Best of Kaptain Krude
Strange, she doesn't look like she's jogging. No, she doesn't look like she's jogging at all. There's something not right here, something not right here at all.