Thursday, July 02, 2015

Wednesday, July 01, 2015

Warrior Woman


1. "So, tell us about your date with Chris Brown."

2. "Note to self, do not try to take a dildo away from Hillary when she's been drinking."

3. "This is one 'chalk-faced whore' who didn't let Wookie win."

4. Off-Screen, the rivalry between Eve Plumb and Maureen McCormick got a lot more physical.

5.  Hands and mouth still dripping with the blood of an innocent child, another Hillary intern completes the initiation.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Worth Tearing Down Our Republic

"They ask for equal dignity in the eyes of the law. The Constitution grants them that right.” — Supreme Court Justice Anthony Kennedy

That's a Big Effin' Dog

 Schneider

1. "Did you hear about the Supreme Court, Max? Next year, our turn!" 

2. For once, Hillary isn't the biggest bitch on Cap This. 




3. "Oh, I love it when he wags his tail." 

4. "I found him eating a dead homeless guy in the park." 

5. "Because the apartment complex doesn's allow horses, duh." 


Saturday, June 27, 2015

Because Gay Marriage


1. "It's sticking right in you... also, you've got a dart in your arm."

2. "Darling, I'll never forget where I was when the Supreme Court decision came down.... third stall, men's room, highway 15 rest stop."

3. Tattoo supplies, hair dye, and gel seem to be abundant in the post-Apocalyptic wastelands.

4. "Yes, the economy collapsed and the Iranians turned the eastern seaboard into a radioactive waste, but... dammit... we got our marriage certificate!"

5. "Sorry, jeesh, you get so pissy when all I did was ask for a pen."

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    ORA:    "You cawn't even take a shower...with a beautiful woman...without wearing yer jeans! HAW HAW HAW!"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    What Boehner and McConnell do on their downtime is nobody else's business.

Best of Mr Hankey
    Scenes from "The Old Dirt Road Warrior"

Best of Dr. Doom
    Ang Lee's remake of The Princess Bride... yada... yada...

Best of GregMan
    "Good thing we have a Supreme Court that just makes sh1t up, huh Bruce?"

Best of Submariner
    Pardon me, kind sir; do you perchance know the way to Brokeback Mountain?

Friday, June 26, 2015

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Yallow Titzling


Best of Son Of The Godfather
    I thought Trump had no chance... until he announced his choice for VP.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    I think "Massive Lemons" would be a cool band name.

Best of The Expendable
    I need a six-ton tow strap for my Hummer. Can I borrow your bikini top string?

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

#CherLivesMatter

1. Cher is cast in the coveted role of Angela Davis in the Michelle Obama story.

2. It kind of looks like a french poodle is giving birth to her head. 

3. "And I'm pleased to accept GLAADs 'Crazy Old Whore of the Year' Award for 2015..."

4. Cher goes up wearing an Afro wig and throwing gang signs, but it's the Confederate Battle Flag that gets banned.

5. "This wig is a memorial to my dear friend Robin Williams, it was made from hair caught in his drain." (Too Soon?)

Best of dadoctah
    Somebody *really* needs to have a few words with Jan Brady....

Best of if i could turn back time
    The desperately wanting to be trendy Cher now self identifies as an African-American. Tragically, Cher is forever cursed to remain stuck in the 1970s.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    Lenny Kravitz looks a lot different up close.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    Sweet Jesus, if the carpet matches the drapes someone's gonna need a weed-wacker.

Best of Son Of The Godfather
    Sonny Bono may not have dodged that tree, but he sure dodged a bullet.

Best of GregMan
    If she's not careful that hair's gonna get declared a National Wildlife Refuge.

Best of The Expendable
    "I don't care how you do it, this is how I do it. Two for the pink and one for the stink."

Best of Submariner
    Cher attempts to shoot spider webs to silence the ET reporter for asking when she's going to realize she's "Over the hill..."

Best of Mr Hankey
    Giving up on being black, Rachel Dolezal announces she now identifies as being Cher.

Best of Dr. Doom
    After a few minutes it became clear that all of Cher's facelifts had rendered her incapable of lowering her arms. Don't even think about what is going on because of her tummy tucks...