Wednesday, October 29, 2014

SCOAMF Plays With His Food

1. When he found out there was no way to charge Bo's veterinary expenses to the taxpayer's, the SCOAMF neutered him DIY-style.

2. "Whore," thought the other dog. "You'll do anything with a pulse."

3. Sometimes when the Preezy trips on acid, everything turns into Reggie Love.

4. So, he can't handle the simple task of walking the dog either. Figures.

5. "Come on baby, wag that tail lower. Yeah, you know what daddy likes."

Monday, October 27, 2014

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

On the next Episode of 'Pervert Chef'

1. The new White House Chef has a few ideas where M'Chel can stick her vegetables.

2. He thought his seduction technique couldn't miss until Gordon Ramsay told him to "Sod off, y'bloody poofter."

3. "Ya know what, skip the salad and just bring me some meat and vege... on the other hand, may I just see the dessert menu."

Well, Hello Sailor!

1. Blah Blah Blah Seaman... Blah Blah Blah Poop Deck...

2. "Don't worry about paying for the honeymoon. We'll find some Christians who don't wanna bake us a cake and sue their asses off. Hello, Tuscany!!"

3. "You're actually proposing? Well, blow me down!" "Later, honey."

4. "Billy, I want you to always be the torpedo in my tube."

5. "You know, seeing you in that position reminds me of the dimly lit rest area where we met."

Monday, October 20, 2014

Sir, Your Agenda Has Been Declined

1. "And for the mess M'Chel left in the bathroom... is um, twenty bucks, okay?"

2. "I am sorry, sir, but Man's Country doesn't take American Express."

3. "You want a, um, tip? OK..., after the election you'll be replaced by an undocumented Democrat. So, um, you might not want to renew your, um, lease."

4. "So, 15% on an $84 dollar check is like, um, what... $4?"

5. "Mr. President, please, get me out of here. Get me a bullshit job on your staff. Please! I have a Master's in Womyn's Studies for goddess's sake!"

Friday, October 17, 2014

Butt Hole

The Fantastic Four's Thing gets a much-needed prostate exam.