Wednesday, December 17, 2014

No Perve Like an Old Perve

1. "Back off, Cankles, I saw them first."

2. Once again, BJ Clinton wins at "Find the Whore."

3. "Hey, Babe, wanna play 'sorting hat?' You sit on my face and tell me which hole I'm going in."

4. "Hillary says we need to empathize with our enemies; can I help it if my enemy is a lesbian who likes blonds with big tits?"

5. "Yes, they are spectacular. I'll let you know in a minute if they're real."

Tuesday, December 16, 2014

The Bromance of the CRomnibus

1. "Parking lot... five minutes."

2. "John... when we're in, um, public... could you, um, be a little less obviously my bitch."

3. "Since Reggie Love left, do you ever get... lonely?"

4. "You didn't have to roophie me, Oh Great One, you had me at 'Amnesty.'"

5. "Mmmm... feel that bicep. Those three pound curls are really paying off."

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
Bat Cave, ten minutes.......

Best of Jay Guevara
"I wish I could quit you."

Best of The Expendable
"Umm... time to dial the... umm... tanning bed back a bit, John. You're... umm... you're darker than me."

Best of Mr Hankey it's a deal......I'll make it look like an accident when Michelle falls down at the Christmas party and breaks her've got Elizabeth Warren accepting that speaking position in Pakistan.

Best of Best of
Meanwhile, having returned from a parking lot outside a Detroit Lions game...

Best of Best of
Don't squeeze the Shah, man

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Boehner loves to blow in Obamalama's ear and watch his eyes fog up with condensation.

H-e-e-e-e-e-r-e's Billy

Monday, December 15, 2014

Meanwhile, in a parking lot outside a Detroit Lions game...

... John Boehner "negotiates" the CRomnibus with Barack Obama

Best of Double the U
West Turin Chevy, where we will do anything to get you to buy our cars.

Best of The Expendable
Usually it's the Detroit Lions, not their fans, who suck ass.

Best of Kaptain Krude
"Treat me like one of your whores!" Detroit street theater presents Titantic.

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
R U sure that it is not the parking lot of Butt Drugs?

Best of jimmy
Still a better half-time show than Katy Perry's autotuned warbling.

Best of Mr Hankey
"Emergency rattlesnake bite attendant needed in Parking Lot A"

Best of Rodney Dill
Butt drug dispenser -- by Pez

Friday, December 12, 2014

SciFI Throwback Friday

1. An aloof alien gives the orders from but a black woman actually runs the show; who knew Star Trek was actually about the Obama Regime?

2. "No, Spock, I still haven't figured out how to get your damn Mexican soap operas on this damn thing."

3. "You know what I just saw in the bathroom, Uhura? The Captain's log."

Best of Mr Hankey
I'v completed my hack into Star Fleet e-mails. They say that you're a “minimally talented spoiled brat” from “Crazyland.”

Best of metalgarth
Go to Uranus and search for Klingons? A most illogical course suggestion, Mr. Sulu

Best of jimmy
"Awesome jams, there, Uhura...I had no idea you DJ'd at Starfleet Academy."

Best of dadoctah
"First officer's log, supplemental: was just touched inappropriately by the ship's helmsman. Have decided to hold back on reporting the incident to Starfleet because--well, because I kind of liked it."

Best of GregMan
"A furry convention? Set phasers to kill, Lt. Uhura."

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

I Got Nothin'


"Thank You for Shopping at Tourette's Market." 

Best of chronos z. wonderpig
On sale at Butt Drugs - Tasty Ass Crackers!!!!
(too easy)

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
If Avon was bought out by Hustler

Best of Rodney Dill
Do they all come in Ass. Fragrances?

Best of Dr. Doom
The new Ramen flavors were not the big hit the Board of Directors was hoping for although c0ck and a$$ flavor did very well in San Francisco...