Wednesday, March 04, 2015

Tuesday, March 03, 2015

Hold Me


1. "And I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I... will always... love you-u-u-u-u-u-u-u."

2. "Thanks for being my human shield, buddy."

3. ORA: A young Tommy Wiseau cops a feel on a young Jim Parsons.

4. Axe body spray. 60% of the time it works every time.

5. "It's okay, man, I'm gonna miss Leonard Nimoy, too."

Monday, March 02, 2015

Get in my Belly!


1. "And welcome back to 'Corpulent Politicians Attempt Crochet'..."

2. "So, basically, I get to be Jeb's Vice President. Isn't that awesome?"

3. "Don't make me mad, Laura Ingraham. You wouldn't like me when I'm mad."

4. "Oh, you're not Ann Coulter? Sorry, all you skinny white bitches look alike to me."

5. "No, just stand over there and throw cheespuffs into my mouth. It's fun, I promise."

Friday, February 27, 2015

Teddy Ruxpin in Rendition


1. "For the last time... where is the bomb!"

2. ISIS released another horrifying decapitation video this week.

3. "Oh, bother..." Pooh regretted running afoul of the Chicago PD.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Fun for the Whole Family

Schneider


1. Brought to you by Mutual of Folsom Street.

2. Most popular item in the gift shop: Ass Fragrance.

3. "Suggestion: We stop letting the Safe School Czar organize our school field trip."

4. "So, this where you met mom? That explains the gimp suit, I guess."

5. "I hate sneaking in through the back entrance, it's always so messy back there."

Monday, February 23, 2015

The Laughing Witch


1. "And then I said... 'What difference does it make?'"

2. Delighted Hillary fans cheer as she queefs  the entire Communist Manifesto.

3. "Eeeyaw~ Eeeyaw!"

4. "And then I told them how we landed in Bosnia under sniper fire..."

5. "Dammit, lower jaw, unhinge already. That child isn't going to eat itself."

Best of curly
Nobody could pull off an impromptu Monty Python “I fart in your general direction” impersonation like Hillary.

Best of Nose
"Ouch! Right in the balls"

Best of Best of
Gary Busey has never looked more coherent

Best of USMC2841
If she would have done that for Bill we would have never heard of Monica.

5:36 PM Delete
Best of Dr. Doom
"And then I told the Congressional Budget Committee that our security budget was just fine but we could use a few dozen Priuses," Chortled Hillary

Best of Dr. Doom
"So then I sent Huma's husband out to Weiner Cutoff Road to campaign," laughed Mrs Clinton, "To press the flesh - so to speak..."

Best of Submariner
"The snitch; it brings us pleasure!"

Best of KaptainKrude
ORA: "And then I sent him to China to die!" The recasting of Mimi Bobeck is inspired.