Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Data Gets His Circuits Going

[Schneider) Just for gits and shiggles, I decided to use all Brent Spiner quotes for captions.  They work pretty well.

1. "I find her to be a competent officer; highly motivated... though somewhat lacking in her understanding of the theory underlying the dilithium matrix application."

2. "In my study of interpersonal dynamics, I have found that conflict, followed by emotional release, often strengthens the connection between two people."

3."Darling, you remain as aesthetically pleasing as the first day we met. I believe I am the most fortunate sentient in this sector of the galaxy. :

4. "The safest and most logical decision in this situation is to contact Starfleet and await further instructions."

5. "I believe you will also de-evolve into an earlier form of primate - possibly similar to a lemur or pygmy-marmoset. "

Monday, August 29, 2016

Into the Mud, Scum Queen


1. There's definitely a 2016 election metaphor in this picture.
2. "Damn, two days before he was supposed to testify against Hillary Clinton."
3. Joe couldn't wait for the weekend when the phrase "I'm going to stick my hose in your filthy mudhole" had a completely different meaning.
4. "Well, at least I'm not $100,000 in debt with a degree in Womyn's Studies."
5. "We all float down... Oh, hi Frank." "Hi, Pennywise."

Friday, August 26, 2016

Beeg Yuuger Gyant Focking Khet

1. Tom Cruise wakes up in the morning and greets his normal sized Khet.

2.  We've replaced Joe's usual Khet with an Abomination of God, Let's see if he notices.

3. "I need to clean the litter box again. Do we still have M'Chel's eatin' shovel?"

4. Joe thought he had the 'Biggest Pussy' contest sewn up until Kanye West, Bill Maher, and Barack Obama showed up.  

5. Between his cat allergies and the outrageous cost of EpiPens, Joe soon went bankrupt.

Rorschach Blot Cheerleaders

I don't even have a caption for this, I just thought it was kind of neat.

Thursday, August 25, 2016

Tuesday, August 23, 2016

Feats of Strength

1. For her next feat of strength, Hillary will fist Huma live on 'Ellen DeGeneres.'

2. Hillary's People: "We need to do something on your show to dispel these health rumors." Kimmel's people: "Well, how about we take her for a run in the park." Hillary's People: "Um, no, she doesn't walk around so good." Kimmel's People: "How about we let her take questions from the audience."  Hillary's People: "No, taking unprepared questions causes her to have seizures." Kimmel's People: "How about she opens a pickle jar." Hillary's People: "OK, but *we* supply the jar."

3. "Twist harder... pretend there's a large donation in it from a brutal foreign dictator who wants a favor." *Pop*

4. "Whew! This lid is on much tighter than the one on the Testicle Jar."

5. Not everyone was impressed. "Kermit Gosnell would have had that opened in nothing flat," sniffed Cecile Richards at Planned Parenthood.

Best of tonn
and now we see why BIll won't let her grab his balls.

Best of metalgarth
So.... we'll put her in charge of opening pickle jars in white house kitchen. (Somehow I think that job pays at least $75,000.00 a year) 

Best of Submariner
Best of Mr Hankey
"It's just like changing the batteries in Huma's strap-on, and smells the same too!"

Best of jimmy
Shout from audience: "Pretend it's Monica!"

Monday, August 22, 2016

Oh, Look, Someone Caught a Goa'Uld

1. Hillary actually has a nest of those thingies living in her lower colon.
2. Someone just caught a great big, "Nooop, No F--king Way."
3. The catch has already been offered a permanent hosting job on 'The View.'
4. "Bob, is it wrong that this fish makes me horny?"
5. The main ingredient in McDonald's new 'Filet O'Noooooope' sandwich.

Best of Best of dadoctah
ORA Twofer: why you should never feed Falkor after midnight.

Best of Jay Guevara
The obstetricians just delivered the latest Clinton.

Friday, August 19, 2016

Eight Water Crack


1. And the Jamaican Synchronized Queefing Team takes to the pool.
2. Humiliated by their bronze metal, the entire Japanese diving team committed suicide.
3. Some "Loch Ness Monster" photos are more obviously fake than others.
4. The morning after an entire swim team agreed to testify against Hillary Clinton.
5. After catching a glimpse of the Olympic spectacle, Hillary Clinton dismissed her staff and had some 'alone time.'

Best of metalgarth
The Water World - Human Centipede crossover actually did quite well in some markets