Thursday, May 21, 2015

Meet ‘Patrick’: The robotic proctology-simulation ass

Das Link

1. "Hello, Mr. Andrew Sullivan? Yes, this is the medical college. We, um, will no longer be requiring your services.... Oh... Oh... please don't cry Mr. Sullivan."

2. The Wii's new interface was aimed at a niche demographic.

3. I see some got his 'Folsom Street Fair Practice Kit" today

4. New from Ronco, the "Dan Savage Love Tester" is a great icebreaker at the singles bar. 

5. The napkin dispensers at Barney Frank's house were tres avant garde.

Thursday Being On Time For Once

Plenty Moar where that came from

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Sometimes She Forgets Her Broom

1. "Look at my booger everyone!"

2. That Twilight Zone episode could have been a lot more terrifying if William Shatner had looked out of the plane and seen... this.

3. "We realize you have a choice in flying options... and you made a bad one."

4. Hillary's campaign jet, The Flying Sybian, departs for another day of scripted questions from hand-picked Democrat stooges.

5. "Airplane always make me excited; ever since my first lesbian affair with Amelia Earhart. Of course, I had to make sure she'd never tell anyone."

Monday, May 18, 2015

So Long Angsty Period Soap Opera

Remember the first time you watched Mad Men and it was like, "Wow, this is cool, a TV show where they smoke and treat women like crap." And then the second time it was like, "This show sucks, all they ever do is smoke and treat women like crap."

1. And they shared a single thought, "This office needs more beige."

2. "True, one day all of the secretaries will be replaced by email... and internet porn."

3. "You know, Don, if people in this company could stop drinking, smoking, and whoring for five minutes, we could take over the world. If..."

4. ORA: "Well, Megan, if you want to know the truth, I'd rank you better than the wife of the potato chip guy but not as good as my daughter's teacher."

5. ORA: "Did you hear about that trainwreck in Philadelphia?" "When did Betty go to Philadelphia?"

Saturday, May 16, 2015

A Matter of Perspective

Open Thread. By the way, my old email is dead. Long live the new email: vikingthekitten-at-gmail.

Wednesday, May 13, 2015

The Rodham Womyn

1. "Mom, did your laxative just kick in?"

2. Liz Warren presents Hillary with her Indian name, "Resting Bitch Face."

3. "So, mom, when you're president, who are the first four men you're going to kill?"

4. Cankles: "Look at that rack on that one."

5. "So, when I get old, I guess my face will start to decompose too, mom?"

Threadwinner: chronos z. wonderpig
'You know Mom, that Dzhokhar Tsarnaev is kind of cute!"

Best of Best of
A supportive, adopted daughter attends all her moms' arm-wrestling meets.

Best of Best of
Mom, when I grow up,
can I kill people too?

Best of Son Of The Godfather
"Mom, when I asked you if dad is really my biological father, what did you mean by 'What difference, at this point, does it make?'?"

Best of Son Of The Godfather
Pictures like this make me miss Rodney Dangerfield.

Best of BPatMan
"Mom, Did you have a burrito for lunch, or are your Depends full?"

Best of Sort-of-Mad Max
"Mom, I asked you to have that guy holding the Howdy Doody puppet killed after the last time he showed up. Slowing down in your old age??"

Best of jimmy
Chelsea: "Oh, look, mother. Is that one of those 'poor' people you write all those speeches and tell those stories about? Can I touch it? I've never seen one up close."

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

Everything I Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten, Perverted Monor Edition

Chronos von Wunderschwein

1. "What cruel hoax is this!!"

2. "And no one cares that I'm desecrating this stature of Sacajawea? Cool."

3. And another male oppressor "rapes" all women --- according to every college SJW in the world.

4. "It actually is a bottle, my moms are very avant-garde."

5. "Baby's first erogenous zone," a new collector plate from the Safe School Czar collection.