Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Monday, July 28, 2014

Looks Like Someone Just Found Out About Her Impending Clitorectomy

Still on Vacation

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Google retrofitted Willie Nelson's tour bus as their first driverless commuting vehicle. All went well until it got the munchies and wanted a drink.

Best of Submariner
    "Bush's fault."

Best of Dr. Doom
If the Carter Presidential Bus met the Obama Presidential Bus on the Worst President in History Memorial Highway.

Best of Steve O
    "Try not to scrape the bottom of the bus as you pull it out! I'm in enough trouble already.

Best of s
    All I know is, if Obama was driving, it's Bush's fault.

Best of Submariner
    Looks like some Dem politician made the mistake of loading the "Army of Mom" voice app to their Tom-Tom...

Best of jimmy
    Malaysian Bus Lines seems to be having an equally bizarre string of bad luck.
    Too soon?

Best of Best of
    Caution: Dip

Best of curly
    On Sunday, President Obama and First Lady Michelle released a statement thanking water drinking buses for their many “achievements and contributions… to building the very fabric of our nation and strengthening the core of our democracy.”

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Congrats, you passed!
    As a member in good standing with the powerful Bus Drivers Local #28, Barney didn't sweat the annual Skills Evaluation.

Best of Best of
    It's alrght. How many bus stories are out there ...that don't involve Shirley Jones jerking the wheel at last minute to spare the world from enduring a Partridge Family reunion.

Friday, July 25, 2014

Because I Am Vacating

Best of Best of
    See what happens when you stray from the group learning paradigm?

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
    Okay, Mister Smith, I made a stupid mistake in the formula; but if that's your hand fondling my ass, you have made a much bigger one.

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
Sheila felt like such a nerd. The other girls in her clique could calculate the tip and how to split the tab 4 ways in their heads!

Best of chronos the wonder pig
"Lets see, to tip out the bouncer, the DJ, the bartender, and the manager I'll still need math...double damn"

Best of Best of
    Susie can no longer bear teachers' shoddy pretexts for their diatribes against fracking.

Best of Dr. Doom
    Let's see calculated Sheila...
    Baseline the tax rate...
    Add in inflation...
    Factor in tax load from eight years of DNC rule...
    Square that by the exponential increase of Obamacare...
    Less my earnings potential with a Womyn's Studies degree...
    ...and the answer is my grandchildren will still be paying for my student loans in 2084...

Best of Submariner
    Thawt bubble; "...carry the remainder, and, voila!
    Dub was right - I AM fat."

Best of Submariner
    Screw this;
    plug me back into the matrix.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

This One Time, on the Metro...


1. "So, is this the station where you get off?"

2. Sandra Fluke picks up another campaign "donation."

3. Calvin Klein Jeans ads are kind of starting to lose their edge.

4. And because of the prudery of some nosy Metro official, Leon later died of his snakebite.

5. Anthony Weiner still enjoys riding the subway.

Threadwinner: USMC2841
    Linus and Sally are now banned from all public transportation.

Best of chronos the wonder pig
    Hillary does research for her "Hard Choices" movie, err I mean book.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Boy, you guys are completely misreading the situation. They're merely playing an intense game of in-the-dark Battleship.

Best of Kaptain Krude
    Nice, making fun of an innocent reading of Longfellow under a blanket. Learn their story. Educate yourselves, morons.

Best of dadoctah
    Metrosexual: Ur doin it rong.

Best of Submariner
    I can't wait to see where Chris Angel is going with this one...

Best of Carpe Phlogiston
At the coroner's inquest, a contrite young Ted Kennedy said the reason he sat on the prostitute's head through 11 station stops was he figured her squirming, kicking and muffled cries were signs of approval... after sheepishly admitting he didn't actually understand the term BJ. His record was expunged.

Best of Mr Hankey
    Looks like someone engaged the subway auto-pilot.

Best of Dactyl
    Conjoined twins need public transportation too, you haters!

Best of John Schneider
    Why, no, I don't work at Hobby Lobby. Why do you ask?

Best of Armando
    Ahh, the mobile Dutch oven!