Wednesday, October 19, 2016

It Takes a Village

1. Chelsea reads to Charlotte about Grandma's "Special Friend" Janet Reno.

2. "And then, Big Sister's connections got her a $600,000 no-show job at NBC News."

3. "And then, Big Sister took in a $25 Million 'donation' from a Russian company and, by total coincidence, let them take over America's uranium supply two days later."

4. "You can read the story, just don't ever let grandma hold me again. Last time, the shaking was so bad I thought she was going Casey Anthony on me."

5. "What the hell is Lena Dunham doing? Mom, this book is f--king sick!"

6. "Come on, mom. Just sound out the words. You can do this."

Monday, October 17, 2016

I'm Back, Baby

I needed that week off more than you can imagine.

1. "Sarah, you know it's bad luck for Mr. Broderick to see you before the wedding."

Wednesday, October 05, 2016

Challenge Accepted

1. The 'I'm With Hillary' sticker is pretty much redundant.

2. So, what is the guy in hat at left looking at that's more astonishing than the waddling abomination in front of him.

3.  Your gender? I'm not even going to assume your species.

4. When people look back the second decade of the 21st Century, this is what they're going to remember: Fat, manless women with bad dye-jobs. They're like hippies in the 1960's or the Global Influenza Pandemic of the 1910's.

5. "You may, however, assume that I will Supersize my Hardee's order."

Best of Dr. Doom
It would probably require some sort of hermaphrodite alien transformer to assume your gender sweetheart...


Best of GregMan
I wouldn't want to assume her college debt, either...


Best of dadoctah
Gender? You have a gender? !


Best of Rodney Dill
OMG, Machado really did blimp up.


Best of George C. Papoon
Embedded ORA: Assume gender ? A veritable planetoid like that, I assume she has her own weather system.


Best of Adriane
Asexual Joker - a Batman villan for the new millennium!!!!


Best of metalgarth
What exactly is Wynona Judd going for these days?


Best of metalgarth
ORA: If there's ever a live action Futurama movie, we know who can play Horrible Gelatinous Blob


Best of jorgen
Even if another whale with green hair existed, it would not be interested in her gender.


Best of Kaptain Krude
On the back of his/her/its shirt (printed in *very* large letters):

John Edwards is Good.


Best of Kaptain Krude
I'm almost afraid to ask what I can assume?


Best of metalgarth
I'm almost afraid to ask what I can assume?
You can assume that if you throw a Twinkie her way she'll snag it in mid air


Best of Rodney Dill
That's no moon!


Best of Russ of Oregon
And you'll need to dust it with flour to find out.